Gotta love having ITP. The top two pics are of my battle wounds: one is my left arm where RMA took blood and the other is my right arm where the hospital took blood. Doesn't it make my pale white skin look so interesting? So do you think that blue and purple with a hint of yellow and green are my colors? If you didn't know any better....you would think I'm a heroine addict.
The good news is that I'm feeling better. Emotionally, I'm getting use to the fact that I'm no longer pregnant. I'm trying to see the good in all of this. Physically, I have some battle wounds but overall I'm doing much better than I did with my first miscarriage. I guess staying home keeping my feet up was a good idea. I think by Monday I will be as good as new.
I got a call yesterday from my aunt's group home. They are closing down the place. Wonderful! Now I'm on duty to try to find her a new place that she will be happy in. When I got the call, I said....God...is this the reason why I can't be pregnant so that I can give all my time to Tia Sonia? Because this is definitely a stressful situation I'm in right now. She lives in Philly and they told me they will be placing her in another group home in Philly. Not so cool. This is our opportunity to move her to NJ some place close to home. It's so hard to see her out in Philly because honestly, I HATE the drive. I also hate the fact that we visit her so seldomly (sp?). I think she would be better off if she saw her family more often. So this is now my second job....and I have 30 days to get it done. Yay again! My Tia Dulce will be here for Easter weekend and she said she will go around with me and my mom and look at places and we are going to devote all our time to finding her a good place.
Ok...so I'm trying to move on with my life...I have a babyshower that I need to help plan for. I'm so excited about the shower. She's going to be so happy! (I will not say names...sorry!) There is still so much to do...and I wish I wasn't on house arrest!! LOL I'll call my partner in planning this shower later on today to see if we can work on it next weekend or throughout the week. I don't want to wait too long because of Palm Sunday and Easter, etc. Plus, I have a few events to go to in between it all. I'm a very busy girl...you know!
I'm trying not to question God anymore....I'm trying to accept and move on. With each passing day it gets a little better. I guess it's true that time heals the heart. There are 2 things I know for sure: 1. When we do get pregnant again....we aren't telling anyone (however...if you keep up with this blog...I might announce it here) and 2. We will not be trying to get pregnant again...after one successful pregnancy. Vlad and I talked and it's just too much. If God gives us one on our own...which would be a HUGE miracle...then great! But if not....our kid better love being an only child and learn to love his/her cousins as if they were his sisters & brother.
1 comment:
Maryann-
You don't know me, but I am a Nest lurker who has followed your story. You are amazing and strong and I just wanted to offer my support. I know that you will be blessed with a baby of your own.
Also, I don't want to get into your business too much, but has RMA been checking your progesterone levels after ovulation? I don't recall you mentioning it, and it could be an important piece in this puzzle, since you mention in your first blog entry about a short luteal phase. I had some IF issues and went to IVFNJ, and I know that they monitor the progesterone after ovulation.
One other thing, since you are looking for homes for your aunt, the Masonic homes are always in such great condition. I volunteer at one in the Bridgewater area occasionally and had a family member at another one, and they are so clean and exactly opposite of what you think a nursing home would be like. I'm not sure what the requirements are to get in (i.e. if you have to be related to a Mason or not), but they might be worth checking out.
I will continue to follow your story and I just know in my heart that I will be reading good news soon.
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